This Mother’s Day, I Honor the Hurt and the Healing | Stories from the Path by JBE Mindful Pathways
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Mother’s Day brings out images of flowers, smiling women, and family celebrations. But for many, it’s not a day of ease. For some daughters—and for some mothers—it’s a day filled with silence, grief, guilt, confusion, and a longing that can’t be easily named.
There are daughters who ache for mothers they don’t speak to.
There are mothers grieving children who won’t return their calls.
There are wounds between generations that haven’t been acknowledged, let alone healed.
This Mother’s Day, we honor not just the beauty of motherhood, but also the pain, the complexity, and the invisible threads that still connect us—even when we’re apart.
When a Mother Isn’t What You Needed
Not every woman who gives birth knows how to be a mother. Some weren’t shown how to nurture. Some were hardened by life. Some never felt safe enough to be soft. And some carried so much pain from their own mothers that they passed it forward without realizing it.
There are daughters—like many of us—who didn’t receive the love we needed, who were hurt instead of held. And we carry that into our adulthood, especially on days like this, (Learn more about The Mother Wound and how it silently shapes our sense of self.) when the world tells us we should be grateful, no matter the story.
But some stories were written in survival. Some homes weren’t safe. And some “mothers” caused the very wounds we’re still learning to heal.
What We Don’t See About the Mothers
Still, there’s another truth we often forget to look at:
Some mothers were never given the tools to become what we needed them to be.
Some were silenced.
Some were shamed.
Some were survivors, never taught how to give softness, because they were never shown it themselves.
Some know the harm they caused.
Some don’t.
Some carry guilt but don’t know how to apologize.
Some are too wounded to even look back.
And some mothers—just like their daughters—are healing, slowly and painfully.
They’re learning how to show up in new ways.
They’re mourning what they didn’t know, and trying to make peace with who they were.
(For deeper healing around mother wounds, check out Jennifer Arnise’s “The Black Mother Wound” podcast.)
When There’s Distance That Still Hurts
Estrangement isn’t always a dramatic break. Sometimes it’s a quiet drifting.
Other times, it’s the necessary boundary we wish we didn’t have to hold.
There are daughters grieving mothers who are still alive.
There are mothers aching for daughters they don’t know how to reach.
And neither side knows what to do with the silence.
On Mother’s Day, that silence can feel deafening. (This is a form of Ambiguous Loss—grieving someone who is still alive.)
So instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, we honor it.
We acknowledge that this day holds space for both joy and sorrow, connection and loss.
Forgiveness Without Reconnection
To forgive doesn’t always mean to invite someone back in.
Sometimes it simply means releasing the grip of resentment.
Letting go of the wish that the past could’ve been different.
Allowing compassion—for yourself, and maybe even for them—to soften what bitterness hardened.
Forgiveness can be quiet.
It can be private. (Learn more about What Forgiveness Truly Means from a psychological and emotional perspective.)
It can be just for you.
And it can be the beginning of your own freedom.
This Mother’s Day
This Mother’s Day, I honor both the hurt and the healing.
I honor the daughters still grieving, still searching, still becoming the mothers they needed.
I honor the mothers who couldn’t give what they didn’t have.
I honor the ones doing the work now, and the ones who never could.
I honor the distance, the silence, the ache, and the growth.
Because all of it is real.
All of it matters.
And somewhere between the pain and the possibility… is the truth.
💐 Dedication
For the daughters still grieving a living mother.
For the mothers still grieving the daughters they lost to silence, time, or pain.
For those learning, unlearning, hurting, and healing.
For those doing the best they can—whether that means reaching out, letting go, or simply surviving another Mother’s Day.
May we find peace in our own pace, and love in forms we’ve never known before.
With grace, grit, and a love that refuses to quit,
Keep showing up—even when it feels like no one’s watching.
Your presence is powerful. Your love is building something they’ll one day thank you for.
From one daughter breaking the silence to another—
With strength and softness,
~ Juju Divine Empress
Founder, JBE Mindful Pathways
Wellness Advocate | Writer | Mother | Still Learning, Always Loving
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